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GalaxieGirl5336
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
Posts: 32
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 Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:51 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| So we reached the one year mark and we are technically defines as sexless. Husband is young and obese and we did not have sex before marriage. (was I soooooo wrong!!!!). I married him becuase I love him, but he does not take care of his physique. Man boobs and beer belly is a turnoff. Regardless of his weight he is a great man. I was more attracted to him before marriage. Now that I have to ask for sex and practically justify it I want it less. I am not being as attracted to him as a result of this emotional distress. I can see past the man boobs and belly but it all seems to be magnified when he lacks the drive or spontaneity a young man like him should have. I have begun resenting him. During this year we went sexless for 2 months and 4months and basically had sex once every 40 days. We had very little to no sex a 2 week honeymoon. What gives? Many men have high six drives, his libido is low. Could it be hormonal imbalance? Help! |
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GalsGelf
Joined: 22 Dec 2007
Posts: 80
Location: US
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| when a man gets fat he get lazy. you need to talk to him about this or it will get out of control. maybe he's stressed over something. |
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gameforever
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 90
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| he could be gay |
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Galileos
Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 44
Location: Japan
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:37 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| wow no sex after 1 year, thats unheard of |
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GainAnna
Joined: 05 Jul 2008
Posts: 22
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:33 am Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| Mary, when I met my wife 24 years ago, she was the youngest cutest girl you ant to meet. Now she is overweight and changed. She is not that pretty girl physically, but inside of her she is still the same cute girl I met 24 years ago.We accept change and still love each other no matter what. |
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gamrds
Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 65
Location: usa
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 2:28 am Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| Ok, dont give up so quickly.You weren't wrong for waiting! Giving urself to ur husband and only him is one of the greatest gifts.Here are things you can do for him:-Be supportive.-Join a gym.-Cook healthy meals.-Go for walks.You need to show you care about his health and him. You want him to be around for a long time.I am sure the physical attration will come back, once he gets some confidence in himself.Secondly, you really must talk to him about this.If he is unwilling, then drag him to counseling. You guys need to talk, or it will only get worse.True, he should have a greater sex drive, however, he may not feel attractive or sexy.If all else fails, and you are miserable, then I suppose a divorce could be discussed. Even that fear of losing u may make him pep up and start getting healthy.Just remember, do it with him. Change with him. And he will want to, knowing you are doing it too.Best of luck! |
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GAISUAGOLAK
Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 16
Location: Thailand
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:24 am Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| Awh i know how you feel, and my boyfriend and i usual are always at it but whats sad is i always know there something wrong when hes not in the mood ='[ then we usual end up breaking up. |
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GainAnaeb
Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Posts: 19
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:19 am Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| Sounds like a lack of control - he can't control his urge to eat. His lack of a sex drive could be a result of his obesity. He should seek counseling and if you have any feelings for him you will support him - but you should give him an ultimatum - counseling and weight loss or bye bye. |
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GainAnae
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 25
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:14 am Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| He's gay and married you as his cover. Move along. |
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gamer_077
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| try euphoria pheromone perfume, it'll increases his senses a bit more..for him, he needs to see a doctor who will deal with his low sex drive... talk to him as to why he doesn't want to meet up to your sexual satisfaction... i know it's a lot to ask for, maybe he really really feels tired out when he does have sex with you and it's hard on his body. Only because he doesn't care for it. He probably feels more worse having sex (due to tiredness, high blood pressure problems (?), frustration and extreme perspiration) would probably overwhelm his sexual arousal. honestly, when it comes to taking care of his body-- you have to do something about it and convince him in doing so..when u prepare meals, give him healthy food..when it comes to buying groceries, don't give him the money, you buy the food and make sure the snacks and everything are healthy and good for his heart and body.When he goes out and buys food, particularly junk food, SMACK HIM!! And u should make him give you all of the money that he earned-- so u can control the finances.. o.o;; food also helps out sex drive.. spicy food tends to increase sex drive. check out sex guru. it's a website full of very informative details about sex and sex drives and human psychology. |
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gamrds
Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 65
Location: usa
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:05 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| Why don't you both go running. Enjoy eachothers company. be his personal trainer. |
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GAISUAGOLAK
Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 16
Location: Thailand
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 2:00 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| Man boobs says it all. The guy has lost some serious testosterone and is drenched in ESTROGEN.No s***! He needs to get to the gym. probably easier said, than can be done, especially if he has never been the type of person to work out in the first place! What about you, are you all toned and looking good? If not, the two of you should get to a gym. And as time goes on, the testosterone should come flooding back in, thus given him a sex drive again. Which brings me to another thought. You said that you never had sex before marriage, because.,..... you both were just "waiting" or he's never tried? Either way, that's tuff because now you're thinking IS THIS IT?Well, if this helps any, I totally understand because you're not alone. My marriage is the same way. And you know what, it doesn't get any better, at least not with me it hasn't. We are on our 8th year of marriage and I've come to live with it, mainly because I have two kids. But who knows maybe one day we'll just split up and move on with our lives. Anyway, you're in a tuff position and I feel for you. Good luck |
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GainAnae
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 25
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| It's the weight. He has no energy for it. |
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GalaxieGirl
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject: Sexless Newlywed who has lost attraction to husband? |
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| Tell him to loose some weight and get his act together or your done trust me you deserve better and a successful marriage needs sex |
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