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nj
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 21
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 Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:30 pm Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| me and my (ex) boyfriend have been dating for five years now. It like every relationship has its good times and bad times were not perfect but were not fighting every night either. Long story short at first we both had the same out look for our future marriage kids a home the works but about two months ago he told me he didn't want to get married anymore I'm unsure if he meant to anyone or to me he just causually stated it i was hurt i was upset i stewed on it for about a month and finally told him i still wanted to get married not just in general but i basically already had our wedding planned and was waiting for my ring which had been on the back of my mind for like a year well about three weeks ago he still didn't know if he wanted to spend his future with me it was my breaking point i dumped him the sad part is I'm more upset and hurt over it then he is he almost sounds disgusted with me when we talk its at the splitting of the things part my question is was five years enough time to at least know if marriage is in the works sometime down the road mind you I'm 21 hes 23 i wasn't asking for us to stroll down an aisle like tomorrow i was just wondering if he was at some point in the next two years or so going to make a proposal did i do the right thing? |
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NISIOTIADBALS
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 40
Location: Cyprus
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| Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| Well, you did a thing. It's not the wrong thing. He doesn't want to get married, and he told you why. That was good of him. Some people would have rolled the dice, and he probably sees their loaded, because "not fighting every night" just means you're not necessarily totally stupid to be together at all. And marriage doesn't make bad things better. Usually, it's the opposite. |
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NISIOTIADBALS
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 40
Location: Cyprus
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| Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 7:05 pm Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| You are both young...pressuring yourself into marriage at this age is not necessary...you still have plenty of time...but on the other hand...if this relationship has no destination...why continue? The point is, you can continue for a while like this...Love conquers all... |
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NITYKEYPE
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 27
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 8:52 pm Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| You did the right thing. At the point he made it clear that his vision of the future was not anywhere close to your vision of the future, you established a breaking point in the relationship. You should have realized it after about a year, but he may have been good a hiding his intentions because he didn't want to break up with you. He probably brought it up because he didn't have the courage to outright break up with you and knew that you would if he made it clear he didn't want to get married.He may be the kind of guy who should never be married or he may have realized he didn't see anything long term with you. Either way, be glad that he didn't marry you, hiding his true feelings. He has now set you free to find someone who wants the same things in life that you do. You are more upset than him because his dreams were not crushed. He manipulated you into freeing him to seek out other women. Your dreams were crushed. You had this vision of a home with a loving, caring husband, and some beautiful children. Understand this vision was never going to be fulfilled with him. Hold true to your vision and seek it with man who shares that vision and will share it will you with great joy. Be happy now because you will not waste one more minute of your time and energy forcing someone into your vision. |
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NizExhimi
Joined: 28 Jun 2008
Posts: 42
Location: Afghanistan
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| Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 10:39 pm Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| I think that getting married at that age is a mistake simply because you are really to young to really know what you want in life. If you too young to know yourself, how can you know a life with someone else. On the other hand if this is something you feel very strongly about, it may be best this way. If you have two different goals now it's not fair for you to take half of what you want and put your life on hold waiting for something that may never happen. |
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njoynlife
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 12:27 am Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| yes you did the right thing, just think about it would you want to be married to someone you had to convince to marry you. |
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nitr0bike
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 36
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:14 am Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| you did the right thing. He told you that he doesn't want to marry, and that is something that you ultimately want. It's a good thing you didn't waste any more time. Find somebody who is more compatible with you . |
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Nizzle
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 4:01 am Post subject: Did I Do The Right Thing? |
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| You did do the right thing. You didn't wanna sit & wait & hope for something that wasn't gonna help or if he wasn't sure about asking you to marry him. I think, he is just very confused & scared of what it's gonna be like, if you do get married... |
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