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njoynlife
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
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 Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| Ok im going to call him my fiance because we were pretty much engaged he just hadnt got a ring and officaily asked me to marry him.My fiance and I started planning our wedding, we had our guest list, where we were having it, our budget, centerpieces, food, everything picked out. We had our date set and all of that. We are best friends (or were) and I love him with all of my heart. So we picked out an engagement ring, and 2 wks later he broke up with me. He told me he still loved me and wanted to get back together, he just needed a break.We had been fighting a little bit, and he said he got burnt out on it. I didnt know what to think of that I didnt know if it was the p**** way to dump someone or if he really wanted to get back together, so i asked no bull s*** do u really plan on getting back with me, he said yes. We talked off and on its been almost 2 months since he broke up with me. He finally told me that he had fallen out of love with me while we were together!! That breaks my heart even thinking about it. I am so sick, i think about the situation and I loose my appetite. So do you guys think that he really fell out of love with me or do you think hes scared of committment? Oh by the way he was the one that wanted to get married this fall, and i didnt want to i told him we could next fall. He agreed on that. Also, he said i didnt do anything, but he wont really talk to me. It seems like he doesnt want to talk cuz he knows he still has feelings for me, and hes just scared to commit. Hes planning on moving, and working somewhere else. Which i dont get because he wanted to stay here and have a farm and family, but now hes just wanting to travel for work and not have a family or anything like that. All of his friends keep telling me hes just scared to commit. And people that I talk to about it say that hes scared to commit. So please, tell me what you guys are thinking and tell me what to do, I want to be with him so bad. Hes the one for me, I get goosebumps and still get nervous when he touches me, kisses me, anything he does to me its butterflies. Please help me I dont know what to do or say to him. And guys tell me if this happened to u(scared of commitment) and what happpend to make u unscared and ready to commit.I forgot to say this. He took a girl on a date, he took her to dinner and then they were supposed to go with some other people to do something. anyway they had dinner, and he dropped her off (didnt do anything except take her to dinner) so he dropped her off and hasnt called or talked to her since. i asked if it was awkward taking another girl out he said no. so y couldnt he follow through with the date if he didnt still have feelings for me? |
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NISIOTIADBALS
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 40
Location: Cyprus
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| i think hes in love but not ready to make a commiement^* |
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Nizzle
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:31 pm Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| dont even think im reading all of thatp.s. who the hell starts planning a wedding before theyre even engaged lol |
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NITYKEYPE
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 27
Location: USA
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Nizkeetty
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 43
Location: France
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:18 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| It does sound like he is scared of commitment. Either way, if he's willing to flee over a few fights, what is he gonna do when your marriage gets difficult? Is he gonna run away then, too? That's what you need to be thinking about. Love isn't enough on its own. |
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nitr0bike
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 36
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 1:12 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| All guys are scared to commit..I think the older you get, the fear subsides a bit more. It really sounds like this guy might not be the one. I know how you feel about him, and I'm sorry to say that, but based on what you've said about him, he doesnt sound mature enough. |
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Nizzle
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:05 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| I recon he still loves you but had chickened out on the wedding><talk to him but dont mension the wedding >>>>. |
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NITYKEYPE
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 27
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| I was in a similar situation. What happened is this - when confronted with marriage plans it made me realize that I didn't want to marry him. In fact, I didn't want that kind of relationship with him anymore. We'd been together since I was 14, and by 24 I had simply outgrown the relationship and didn't realize it until I was going to take it to the next level. It just hit me one day. So, I didn't fall out of love, but the way I loved him wasn't the same. It wasn't a romantic "I want to be with you forever" love. It was more of a "you've been in my life for 10 years and been a part of my growing up" kind of love.Maybe that's it - or maybe he is scared of committing - but why? Maybe you guys or the relationship are too young? Does he feel that he hasn't established himself as an individual? He needs to be comfortable with who he is before he gets married. The reason could be very simple, or it could be complicated. Whatever the reason is, he isn't ready, willing, or both and you can't force him to change his mind. You need to give him space....go on a date with someone else. If you guys are meant to be together you will come back to eachother. |
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nj
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:52 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| I hate to say this but coming from a guys point of view he may be interested in someone else OR he IS scared of commitment. Since you said you already established the friends thing... Im assuming he knows you inside and out already. What really gets me thinking about him being interested in someone else is that he is moving somewhere else completely. Probably one of them chicks he saw or started talking to on-line. Maybe he is just too scared to tell you that he found someone else??? I mean because Long-Distance relationships RARELY ever work. Just my honest opinion. |
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nkbapbt
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:46 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| If he's the one; he won't go. If he is, something will happen and he will stay. YOU try to do something instead of asking us! We don't know anything about this guy. Just call him up or "accidently" bump into him in the local coffee shop or something and tell him how you feel. (you love him, don't want him to go, are you afraid of commitment, blah blah blah) He's obviousley not "the one" if he leaves, because he dosn't love you enough to be with you until death. If he chickens out and stays, then it will seem he does love you. But just because you're madly in love with him dosn't mean he's it. |
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nkbapbt
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:40 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| He is scared, he isn't 100% sure that your the right one.How long were y'all together?How many times has he ever been in love?These are the things you gotta find out, the way he says the answer will let you know if he's a commitment-phoebe. |
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nkbapbt
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:33 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| "I have fallen out of love with you" Translated means, I don't LOVE you and I really never did LOVE you" Listen I really don't know you and I really don't know your bf, but i do know when someone says a lame statement like that it only tells me 1. they are nothing but a user or 2. they are very immature and has allot of growing up to do. Yourself, forget him and I mean now. get on with your life and find that mature man in your life. Tomorrow will be to late! |
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Nizzle
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:27 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| Maybe you did something to scare him? It's kind of weird for someone to commit and then back out.I'm afraid to commit to marriage because of the divorce rates here in the US and I don't want to loose everything I worked hard for. I think they say 50% of all marriages now end in divorce and the numbers keep going up. Besides why get married if no one values marriage anymore. |
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NISIOTIADBALS
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 40
Location: Cyprus
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:21 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| Hi there,I think he just doesnt want to rush into having a commitment of a such caliber getting married. Especially if you guys are very young for that. Seems like he is not ready for that i still wants to have fun and enjoy life. also him talking other girls out for dinner and moving at a such speed is not a good sign either. As i said i dont think he is ready to get married yet. Why dont you sit down with him and make things clear for both of you. let him clarify them to you.Good luck |
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NISIOTIADBALS
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 40
Location: Cyprus
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:14 am Post subject: i need help please anyone mostly guys HELP ME!!!!!? |
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| Everything just changes when marriage comes to the picture. Maybe he's just too scared to commit. And his fear to commit is even greater than his love for you. Maybe he just hasn't gone over his being single and all. Try to talk to him if you can, conversation is always a good way to make things clear. And try to relax a bit. You won't accomplish anything if you're always edgy. Also, make him remember all the good things that you've been through together, as friends and as couples. Maybe it would make him change his mind about starting a family with you. Good luck and God bless. |
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