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ProudM7924
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
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 Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 10:45 am Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| I'm getting married in June 2009 and have started thinking about registering. However, the majority of your basic registries (target, kohls, etc...) are based on things for the home and we already have a home together filled with plenty of things...we really don't need* more things...so I'm trying to figure out what other options are out there. I talked to a girl the other day who had some sort of a fund for their honeymoon where people could go online and deposit into it rather than putting money towards gifts they really didn't need...has anyone heard of this? I think this would be such a great idea especially because after paying for the wedding, we won't have much, if anything, left over for the honeymoon and feel that we could really benefit from a nice vacation and take that special time together. So if anyone has any information in regards to this, I would appreciate it. Also, if anyone has any other registry ideas other than the norm, that would be helpful as well. Thanks!I wanted to add, I am not in any way a greedy person and it's not that I'm unable to budget...I have a 10 month old child to worry about and we hadn't budgeted any money towards a honeymoon because it just wasn't seen as a "necessity"...we are having a fairly simple ceremony with lots of family and good food...a real "down home" style wedding. I was just simply thinking of ideas and thought that if my family is going to spend money on us (which they will, like it or not) they might as well put it towards something we would actually use. But thanks. |
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proscissionssalon
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 42
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 11:30 am Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| I have heard of people doing this before. If you already have everything you need there is no sense in getting gifts that won't go to good use. You should check out this website. It will give you some more information on honeymoon registries:http://www.travelersjoy.com/?gclid=CNKjoafux5UCFQhJagodMW8FiQ |
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Proudtobe51
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:15 pm Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| I agree with you. Things that I need wouldn't be on a standard Target registry. What I am doing is making a list that will be on my wedding website. With only a few exceptions, I have all the kitchen and linen stuff I need, but I am moving into a new home. Need decor items, furniture of any kind, even little tables, pictures, picture frames. Since my guy has been married several times before, I'm not actually expecting more than 1 or 2 gifts, but it's still fun to plan. I think the fund for the honeymoon is totally tacky, but list it if you want. It's no different, IMHO, than telling people, no stuff-just send cash. It's too bad if you don't have much left over for a honeymoon. We included it in our budget and planned accordingly. |
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ProudM
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 38
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 1:00 pm Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| I have heard of honeymoon registries! The one I know of is HoneyLuna (www.honeyluna.com). I think that's a fantastic idea-- you're supposed to relax on the honeymoon, and what would help you relax more than not having to worry as much about paying for it?If you decide not to do that, you can register for gift cards to the stores you go to the most. Or register for some things you've always wanted but never bought because it would be a splurge or maybe it wasn't absolutely necessary (like a new grill, specialty kitchen items, new artwork to hang on the walls, a massager that you put on a chair, etc.). See if some of your favorite local businesses do registries too, like a bakery or a spa.Congratulations & have fun with whatever you choose! |
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Proudtobe51
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| you can ask them to donate money to a charity of your chose. i know someone who put that on there registries about the honeymoon; however I cannot remember what it said. |
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ProudMomma
Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 2:30 pm Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| I'm sure the majority of your guests will realize that you and your fiance already share a house, and have it well equipped, and probably will not be expecting a registry. However, it's not polite to ask for money, whether it's in the indirect for of a honeymoon registry or not. You can have both sets of parents and the wedding party spread the news word of mouth. You can also just not register anywhere. People will wind up giving you monetary gifts this way. My husband and I registered at bed, bath, and beyond, but only told a small percentage of our guests that we had registered there. We received 5 gifts off our registry, and the rest were cash. Just avoid registering, there are no rules requiring you to register somewhere. |
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ProudM
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 38
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 3:15 pm Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| If you want to create a "honeymoon fund" rather than a "honeymoon registry," then you will have to word it delicately so that it is not perceived as asking for money. There are plenty of companies willing to set up honeymoon registries (sometimes even hotels offer the service) so that someone can put money towards a certain activity such as scuba lessons, massages, etc. I definitely think it's worth looking into. =)Alternatively, you could set up registries with places like REI, Best Buy, Amazon.com, etc - register for equipment you can use in your hobbies and favourite "together" activities. It's becoming more and more common for couples to register for electronics, games, media, etc. If you don't really need anything and decide that a honeymoon registry/fund is not right for you, how about creating a charity registry? It's always nice to share some of your good fortune with others. =) |
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Proudtobe51
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:00 pm Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| "I think this would be such a great idea ..."Have you thought of how this "great idea" will look from a guests point of view? "I'm getting married in June 2009 and have started thinking about how to milk my friends and family most efficiently. If they give me toasters and stuff then I have schlepp all that junk to the store and return it and besides I can't really afford to give the kind of wedding I want so if I can get cash in advance, then I can get started planning something beyond my means, so here is a deposit ticket and you just go to my bank and ..."I hope you see that there really isn't any polite way to give a party you can't afford to pay for and transfer the cost to people who are supposedly your GUESTS, not your sponsors. Now that the harsh part of my response has been delivered, let me give you some tips for politely steering your guests presumed generosity AND saving $$$ on the wedding. 1. Invite everyone by name. No &guest or &family invitation allowed. If a guest informs you that he/she has gotten engaged or married (moved in with, whatever) and you've neglected to invite the fiancee or spouse (or whatever), then you issue that neglected person an invitation. If someone asks to bring a date, the answer is a firm "no" with overtones of "don't be silly, this is formal event not a disco."2. Stop thinking about weddings and think about birthday parties, retirement parties, Labor Day parties. If you could do without favors, guest books, programs, reminder mailings, etc, for these parties then you can do without for your wedding party too. NEVER buy anything labeled "wedding" or "bridal" -- it is the same as the birthday item except it costs more. 3. Instead of spending your money on gifts for groomsmen and bridesmaids, give them the gift of NOT asking them to throw parties for you and so on. If you keep their expenses down for them, then they can afford to give you a bigger gift and they will all know that what you want is cash. Remember, you can't spend on a fancy hen night wing ding and also have it to spend later on for your honeymoon. You can't "have it all" or you wouldn't be here asking how to politely shake down your friends, LOL. 4. I can't say it often enough, but modern brides need to take a hard look good old fashioned RSVP by phone. (No, it doesn't have to be your own personal phone number, and no you don't have to make and take all those calls yourself. That is what bridesmaids and groomsmen were for back in the day.) When your helpers are handling the RSVP calls they need to be prepared to say things like "No I don't believe that Maggie, Lisa, and Bart are invited. Just Homer and Marge." or "He sounds like a very nice young man but the wedding is only for people that the couple know and care about." Especially they need to be able to say "If you're not sure then we'd better just mark you as not attending. The couple needs a firm head count." Remember, where a free champagne supper is concerned even your dearest friends can be con artists and bullies.5. During the phone call your helpers deal with issues like driving directions, what to wear, menu choices, and so on. That makes it a lot easier to put your invitations together.6. Best of all, your helpers can steer the conversation gently toward gifts so that people will ASK what sort of gift you'd like. The answer must allow people plenty of freedom. Some people don't like registries. Some simple do not give cash or checks. "They both drink Courvoisier and enjoy gardening. They're registered at Neiman-Marcus and JC Penney's. And contributions to the honeymoon fund are more than welcome." Be sure to register for small items that are easy to return.I know this has been long, but you young brides seem to be needing a lot of help on this one. |
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ProudMomma
Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:45 pm Post subject: Wedding Registries- other options? |
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| We are registered with the maid of honour. We have given her a list of things we would like. Some of the items are household items, some of them are board games, some are video games, some are big ticket items like a television, some are things we need regularly like gerbil bedding. Whenever someone asks me where we're registered, I give them the maid of honour's contact info. This way we're not restricted to just household items. |
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