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ynra
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 7:21 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| a couple already renewing the vows having a fancy wedding?i have been married for 3 years now and i didn't have a wedding now me and my husband are starting to plan a renewing vows ceremony. i know there are things you are not suppose to do in a renewing vows ceremony. like no first dance and no gift giving, but there are things that even though are not suppose to be done i would like in my ceremony.i want to wear a wedding dress i want to have a wedding cake and also a reception party with all my family and friends.my question if this is wrong for a vow renewal why isn't it wrong for a couple that's been together for a so many years only they are not married?thanks in advancethanks everybody for the answers. they have reassured me that nothing is right and wrong when it's your day. |
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onlyagirl85
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 7:30 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| i think its because a wedding is traditionally a one time thing but i dont think there is anything wrong with having a party as long as it is clear that it is a renewal and not a wedding. |
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Niki
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 7:40 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| I think you should do whatever you want to do and damn what everyone else thinks, hun. Have ceremony the way you want it, If someone thinks your being 'inappropriate, or uncouth' then they are obviously not worthy of being there. I'm sure your family and friends love you and will appreciate the ceremony you are happy with. |
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janis616
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 7:50 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| You can have it be just like a wedding, with a wedding dress, cake, etc. Gifts are generally not expected at a renewal of vows because it is assumed that since the couple has been married for a while they probably have everything they need. |
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i_do_not_like_stupidity
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 7:59 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| It's never wrong to celebrate your love- if you want to wear a dress, dance and have a party for you and your friends, go for it.Since I was in academia for awhile, I know many couples who came from different countries, who got married in the US, and ended up having 2 or 3 weddings later for their friends in their native country, and nobody thought it was inappropriate to celebrate again. I also know several older couples who couldn't afford a wedding when they got married and they had a fancy vow renewal ceremony with the dress and the music. Again, everybody thought it was sweet, not tacky. |
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quietgirl
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:09 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| I think the main thing these days is that you are getting together to make the promise between yourself and your husband formal before all your friends and family. That is what is important and that is what people will focus on. If you want to have a big party and have a cake then I think there is nothing tacky about that. I think if you feel uncomfortable about gifts being given you could write it into the wording of your invitation. Something like "Joe and Jane Doe would like the gift of your company at the renewing of their vows to be held at their church followed by a dinner dance their favourite restaurant" You get the idea. If people want to give you a gift they will and if they don't they won't. They still will do that even if it is your first, only marriage so don't sweat the small stuff just enjoy your day!!! |
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epat87
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:18 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| If you have invitations going out, you should at least state that it is a celebration of renewal of your vows. That way no one can say it was inappropriate for this and that. You'll cover all the bases with an announcement that is put that way. And if anyone questions what you are doing, tell them "It's my party and I'll throw it anyway I want!" case closed. Your in it for the long run and you should be doing your thing. All my best. GOOD LUCK!! |
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janecat
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:28 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| i don't know if this is your case, but many people have a big renewal of the vows ceremony, because when they got married they couldn't afford a big wedding. in this case, people make the renewal ceremony just like a "real" wedding. people do so many different things these days, it's hard for anyone to keep up with what's "supposed" to happen. it's very okay. and a great excuse to get everyone togther for some fun. |
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WhoKnew
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:38 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| I think you should do whatevers going to make you happy! Nowadays pretty much anything goes...so etiquette be dam@d.. do your thang girl! |
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nora
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:47 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| There are no rules. Do as you will enjoy. it is your party. |
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lovin30
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:57 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| there are no rules against doing what you please just as long as you are not harming anybody:)Unless there is a need to renew your vows, you can also change the name of the event:an exchange of vowsbonding of the heartsor something of the sort |
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monicanena
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:06 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| Uh - it's not your day. You already got married. You chose not to have a wedding.If you're feeling lonely, bored or otherwise overlooked, get a hobby, start a new job, make some new friends, or start some new traditions with your husband. Having a full-blown wedding now is in very poor taste. |
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KatrinaM
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:16 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| I don't think that there is anything wrong with having a wedding and wanting to renew your vows. Its your day and you do it the way that you want to. You only get one day and you shouldn't have to worry about if something is not right for someone else. It's your day and since you are already married, if you want to wear a wedding dress and have a reception go ahead and do it. Weddings is something that we think about when we are little and you don't want your day to be messed up because of someone else. You want to enjoy yourself. So I am happy to hear that you have been married for 3 years some don't make it pass the first month. I do encourage you to speak with your husband and you both decide on how you want everything to be. If you need anymore tips; email me at chriskatrina@aol.comI love weddings and I just got married myself. But I have a little story to tell; so everything will be fine and I am pretty sure that you already know that this is your day. So that doesn't need to be said again, but make it last, these will be precious memories and somethings that happen to me I didn't like and I wish that I would have had a better say in it; so do it the way you want to. |
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MeganDeann
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:26 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| Honestly, just throw etiquette out the window!! My aunt had a renewal of her vows just a couple of years ago, due to the fact that she never had a fancy wedding... they just went to the court house, signed a paper, and just simply made it legal. Her renewal ceremony was gorgeous, and she had a dj, wedding dress, bridesmaids (all of her daughters), and a cake. She didn't spend a fortune on it, but it was really nice to see them so happy because they were able to share that time with so many people that they loved...There's nothing wrong with it; society only has minds of the rich and famous warped into doing things so cookie-cutter. Its pathetic. If you wanna have a renewal ceremony and go the whole nine yards, by all means, do it!!! You'll be so happy!!Happy turkey day!!! |
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RainiaW
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:35 pm Post subject: in the etiquette world is a couple that have been together f |
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| I don't know about etiquette pertaining to this particular situation, but some people I know did this, and the older generation felt that they were just having a big wedding now because they didn't get presents at their first wedding. |
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