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1Sluccaddicy
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 53
Location: Guatemala
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 Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:32 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Sorry to say usually not. There are exceptions, but is it worth the abuse? You can't teach an old dog new tricks! I wish you the best, but I'd get out while I could! |
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6204
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:37 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Kick him to the curb, hunny. You and your daughter deserve better. |
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45cal
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:42 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| People can change but it still has to him to make that choice. The first thing you need to do is provide safety for you and your daughter. Leave him if you have to do this for your daughter. If he truly changes, then, if you still love him take him back.But your main concern now is you and your daughter. |
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4532
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:47 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| People do change, but only if they are willing too. For your sake and your daughter's you need to detach your self from this situation as soon as possible. A separation doesn't necessarily means divorce. The pain of loosing you and his baby might be the factor that he needs to rehabilitate himself. I wouldn't put too much mind to his words. People will hurt others using their words when they are mas. I can almost bet you he didn't mean that. Go away for awhile...let him face life without you for sometime,,,,hopefully it will serve as the wake up call he needs,,,Good luck! |
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1401
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:52 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Yes, you should divorce. He will not change and there isno hope. It would be sadistic for your daughter to stay andmasochistic for you to stay. |
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45cal8341
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:57 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| There is hope. it is just a long road before they get there. from the sounds of it he is trying. You have to be strong.!!! If you are still in love with this person, i would say wait and work on you married together with help. But if you just feel sorry for him and feel guilt for him, it isn't going to work. Not only that but your daughter doesn't need to see what he has done to you or to himself. you must a strong woman to come this far. I hope that you do what is best for yourself and your daughter.blessing to you. |
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0088235
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:03 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| i think you should... even if you still love him...how would you be able to give enough love to someone if you don't love yourself first... i think you have to love yourself by keeping yourself (you and your daughter) safe - from his deeds... it hurts but you just have to let go - maybe just for the meantime... he says he's changing but let him prove it first... you say he goes to a Christian rehab, then that could probably mean you have faith in Him... if you have the faith, then there is hope... |
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1sttimemommytobe07
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 52
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:08 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| There is always hope -- don't give up just yet. People change if they want to.Consider the following questions:Is staying legally attached to your husband the best thing for you and your daughter?Are you willing to subject yourself to abuse and cruelty for no good reason?Is there any good that can come from staying together?I can't see it, but then again I'm not where you are.You can still have feelings for someone, but taking care of yourself is priority. Taking care of your daughter has to be number two priority. If you are gone, who will look after her? One of my uncles who had lived lifetimes of experience told me that you cannot help someone who is drowning at their own hand. You can try, but they will usually take you down with them.Think of your daughter and yourself and do what you know needs to be done. I hope this helps you.....Finn. |
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2inogeenfons
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 22
Location: Honduras
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:13 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Someone that far out of touch, does not change. Oh sure, he will learn to 'cope' with a situation but , you'll never know when or what will set him off AGAIN!DIVORCE is best for you and your Daughter, do you want her to go thru that abuse also?Ever hear of that age-old saying, "A Leopard does not change his spots"? Or, a Zebra cannot change it's stripes?Bite the bullet......Do what is best for you and your child, before it's to late and learn to cope with the Divorce/separation, please. |
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-strange-location-
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:18 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Is this the kind of man you want around your daughter? He will end up hurting you and maybe her. He's only telling you what YOU want to hear. Move out and move on. |
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0088235
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:23 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Wow, your husband has issues. Look at all that's happened here. You would think the separation would kick him into doing something other than getting drunk and hitting people. But no, he went into doing crack and drugs, has warrants and flat out told you he regrets not only you in his life, but his daughter. Honey, he is a loser who will never change unless he wants to, and he is the ONLY one who can make that change. You say you feel sorry for him...but WHY??? He clearly wants you to feel that way, making you feel like you are the cause of all his problems. Don't wait for him to change, either...you can have a much better life right now if you want it. There are so many decent, kind men out there who would treat you like a queen. Escape now. Best of luck to you and your daughter. |
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2sassy
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Once an abuser, ALWAYS an abuser - if you take him back not only are you giving him permission to assault you and your family members again, but you are setting an example to your daughter that it is acceptable for a man to treat his partner that way (and how much more guilt will you feel then?)The best thing you can do for all concerned is stay separated from him and keep him away from your daughter (at least physically, it is up to you whether you allow phonecalls etc) until he has been totally clean and sober for at least a year. Then allow your daughter to have a relationship with her father unless he relapses again, but divorce him and find someone who deserves you. Believe me, your daughter will thank you for it in the long runI wish you the best of luck, as I know how hard it can be to give up a relationship with someone you care about because of addiction |
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2inogeenfons
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 22
Location: Honduras
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:33 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Yes, I think you should definately get a divorce. At his age, people do not change, these habits are set and it will only bring you dissapointment down the road with having your hopes up this way. I think it is the best, healthiest decision for you to move on. You deserve someone who is stable and healthy, and especially not violent. If you'd like to talk more on this, email me or visit my site, www.elysium-coaching.com. I can help you make the best decision and support you in it. DeAnna LorraineProfessional Relationship CoachElysium CoachingDeannaLorraine@elysium-coaching.com |
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704CEO
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:38 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Addicts are always going to remain addicts, even if they "clean up". Your daughter needs a role model and who better than a crack-head loser? Good for you for breeding with this scumbag!You've obviously crossed the line into stupid territory, so why not try the other side, and get your head out of your A## and get away from this garbage as fast as you can. Take some personal responsibility and make a better life for your daughter before she ends up on street to support her habit. Of course, it's easier to stick it out with Loser, so forget all that other stuff and take your beating like you should! |
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