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2kool4u
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 26
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 Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:15 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| My husband is in rehab for about a month now, we've been separated for about 5 months. I kicked him out because he hit my sister and pushed me around when he was drunk. During the separation he has smoked crack, done other drugs, spent our money on partying, hit me, threw his wedding ring at my head (after he came back from rehab the first time, slit his wrists in front of mewhich he was there for about 3 weeks), and also told me that the 2 regrets in life are me and our daughter (who is 4). He also has a warrant for DV, and antoher for traffic tickets.I know you are prolly thinking, "Divorce him already, how stupid are you!" BUT i still have feelings for him, like i feel sorry for him. i also feel SOO GUILTY because of my daughter.He says he is "changing". However I dont think someone can change that quick. The rehab he is in is a Christian one, and they don't do any steps or allow medication for depression (which he was on).Do people like this change?? is there Hope?? |
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4532
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:20 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| DIVORCE!!!!!!! |
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237kk
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:25 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Git while the gittins good.... |
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1sttimemommytobe07
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 52
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:30 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| Rarely do people that bad off change..and if you want to do whats best for your your Daughter than get rid of him. |
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1DREAMEAWARA
Joined: 01 Dec 2007
Posts: 20
Location: Armenia
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:35 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| short answer: yes. Longer answer: Sounds like you may need help with your own self esteem issues. |
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1401
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:40 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| People CAN change, but it's VERY hard and not many actually change. It sounds like you have had an extremely rough life together. I had a friend who was in a similar type marriage and she divorced him. Now she is married to a cop and is much happier. Maybe you change the scene and get a new guy in your life that will treat you and your daughter with respect and kindness. Everyone deserves that. |
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237kk
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:46 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| I'm so sorry to hear how horrible he has been treating you. It sounds like you should divorce him. He has done a lot of wrong doing towards you, your daughter and your whole family. They hate to see you living like this. As for him saying he is changing, he must first prove it to you. Don't take his word. I wouldn't trust him unless he has been in the rehab for a minimum of 6 months. I know how much you would love to be a family and believe him but think about your and your daughters safety. Tough decision.take care and good luck! |
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1lyloaboodycle
Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 49
Location: Burma
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:51 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| No, I have a friend that was done even worse. She repeatedly told me if a man hit you once, they'll promise not to do it again, but it just continues. He can't change for you. He can only change his life if he wants to and for him. He is the one that has a problem. Count your blessing and move on. |
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1Sluccaddicy
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 53
Location: Guatemala
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:56 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| I think you should. People do change but it is only after years of learning their lessons the hard way. Taking him back is not the hard way. He has abused you and your family too. Dont feel bad for your daughters sake either. She deserves a better home than that. Smoking crack? Beating you? I mean this guy already made his decision about your relationship. Its time to make yours. |
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2inogeenfons
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 22
Location: Honduras
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:01 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| I want to give you hope and say yes, they can change, but, from my own experience, I can't honestly tell you that. My ex did drugs as a teen, sold them, etc. When we met he was clean, but he got back into them. He went to jail, got clean, promised to stay clean, but it didn't last. He always does this. He starts selling and using again, then goes to jail and gets clean. When he is out, he swears he is done and has changed. But he always ends up back in jail. honestly, if I were you, I would head for that divorce. There is a huge chance he won't change, but then again, everyone is different. Good Luck! |
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3333
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:06 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| he is your husband sure u know her well than others... u must make a decision for your self and future.... think probably.. and DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF... |
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45cal
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:11 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| He's a lost cause. The the to really worry about is him successfully slitting his wrist and your daughter getting to see that. That's a good reason to have feelings for him. Leave. Leave now. He's dangerous |
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0088235
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:16 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| That is terrible to hear... and I'm sorry -- I usually believe in second chances -- but this guy seems to have blown all of his. I'm a father, and I can't imagine ever saying one of my children was a mistake. We all regret our spouses at some point, just out of frustration.... but our children?? Your daughter doesn't need to see this wreak of a man... I'm a Christian, but you can't feel guilty for not wanting to be around your spouse's huge issues. I'd consider him a danger to your whole family.Best of luck.... |
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123
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:21 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| People can change it is possible, but I think right now you need to think of your daughter and if you can get away to stay with friends or family I would do it. Get your daugther safe and give your husband some time to clean things up, if he can great, if he cant then its time to leave. Good Luck! |
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1DREAMEAWARA
Joined: 01 Dec 2007
Posts: 20
Location: Armenia
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:27 pm Post subject: Should I get a divorce? |
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| get out |
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