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KimN
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
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 Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:06 pm Post subject: Some advice? |
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| Hi,4 months ago I was left by my female partner (of 8 years) for another man she met at work (she is now living with him!!) I was crushed, heartbroken and devastated to say the least!Since then, an awful lot has happened to me and my life, for the better, I have taken up new activities and hobbies gone on a few dates etc...Two weeks ago I was at my sisters wedding and ended up chatting with her best friend, that night we slept together and since then we have kept in touch and I keep thinking about her!My problem is that I keep comparing her to my ex and and feel as though I'm still really tied up in my old relationship so much so that I still miss my ex!I am still physically attracted to my ex and compare every new prospect to her... even though most of the new gals I meet are every bit nicer than my ex was! Confused help!!!I can't help but think that this will keep me distant from this new gal and could ruin things... is this normal?What should I do? |
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kinvafficaclk
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
Location: World
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| Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: Some advice? |
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| Have some fun, eventually the memories will fade and you will move on and find someone new.... |
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KimL
Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:14 pm Post subject: Some advice? |
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| You do not need to be dating anyone if you are comparing the ex to the new one's. |
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kinvafficaclk
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
Location: World
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| Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:49 pm Post subject: Some advice? |
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| You didn't miss the ex when you were knocking it out with her. just chill! |
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kinvafficaclk
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
Location: World
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| Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:23 pm Post subject: Some advice? |
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| Get over your old squeeze man she isn't even worth thinking about. |
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Kit6779
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:57 pm Post subject: Some advice? |
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| Somewhat normal, but will definately discourage any new relationships. You need to see a counselor. It will help you get over the past and get on with a new life. |
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kim_starr85
Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:32 pm Post subject: Some advice? |
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| It ONLY been 4 months. Give yourself more time and I think you'll stop comparing. |
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kinbaart
Joined: 06 Sep 2007
Posts: 94
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:06 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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| First: If you were with her for 8 years, it's okay that you're comparing everyone to her, I would think that should be expected after that long.This girl sounds lovely, if your sister doesn't mind I would keep seeing her and see how you feel |
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kimmyg
Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:40 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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| I think it is good you thinking will keep you away from this new gal. Anyone that shacks up and dips into bed on a first date has issues. What should you do? Learn to keep it in your pants. |
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kinvafficaabh
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 6
Location: World
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:14 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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| It's called rebound! Take things slow with the new girl or even let it cool off until you had time to get over your ex and are fine with YOURSELF. You might be a nice guy but it isn't fair to another girl to be compared to your ex. |
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kimbo
Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:49 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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| i guess there really is nothing "to do" persay, your ex wont come back, so there's no use in thinking about her. your feelings for her may gradually wear off over time, but you cant be sure. You HAVE to stop comparing people to her, that wont help anything. -hope this helped!(Im not gay, though. no offense) |
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kinbaart
Joined: 06 Sep 2007
Posts: 94
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:23 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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| Well, I would focus first on getting your ex out of your head, she left you, she is gone, she has moved in with a new guy and she is not thinking of you. I think you rushed things with this new lady of yours, and you are going to end up hurting her feelings if you don't get it together. Does this new girl know that you just got out of a serious relationship? If not explain it to her, tell her what's going and, be honest. Maybe if you are upfront with her and if things don't work out between the two of you, she will be less hurt and more understanding. Relationships are hard no matter how old you are or what stage the relationship is in. You have to make yourself realize that your relationship is over, when you are ready to do that then you are ready to move on. |
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KimW
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:57 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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| Keep working at it. Soon you'll have enough conquests that you'll compare them all against the others. |
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KissmyShaz
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:32 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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| listen.its normal buddy..try..try to forget about your ex..it may be hard..because you were with her for a while..but just try..and imagine the worst case scenario here..if you are so dwelled in your ex, that you (god forbid) lose this girl.. so try to forget about the ex, she has moved on buddy..you know it..so just accept that she has mved on..and you do the same..gl |
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kinvafficapgf
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
Location: World
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:06 am Post subject: Some advice? |
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It doesn't sound like you are completely over your ex... I would try and take things a little slower with the new women in your life. If you aren't looking or aren't ready for a new relationship right now just have fun and don't worry about it! Eventually your heart will move on when you find the real person you were meant to be with  It just takes time, and I personally don't think sleeping with someone right away will make you get over her faster, but it may take your mind off things |
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