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knmover
Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 52
Location: Porn
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:36 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| Would you be interested in having both ministers in your wedding? You could ask Tom to do some parts and ask Anna to do others. That way you'll be able to include both clergy persons who are close to you.Good luck! |
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Knvfqokn
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 57
Location: Wipetowi
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:40 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| I have been told that it is rude to ask for such a thing, and most ministers would be offended.I have found, when researching this myself, that it is more polite to ask if they both can preside over your ceremony....ministers are more open to that suggestion and prefer it.But, I guess it all depends on them in the end.Good luck! |
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Knvfqokn
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 57
Location: Wipetowi
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:44 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| Perhaps you can get both Tom and Anna to officiate. You can have one of them do the wedding address and scripture readings, then the other one can take over. While they are switching places they can explain to the guests why they are doing that and why it is important to you. I think that would be very cute. This way Anna isn't really taking over his territory and he still gets to be included--and he probably should be if he is so close to your fiance. Does Anna know what is going on? Maybe you could give Anna Tom's number. Have her call him and see how they can work things out together for your special day. I'm sure he won't be offended...then this way the two of them can work together to make it a nice ceremony for you. |
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koko96643
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 72
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| I would try to incorporate both of them perhaps tom could perform a blessing or prayer to begin and then your friend could step in to perform the ceremony that way there are no hard feelings |
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knilymoummirm
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 68
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:52 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| just tell tom what you would like to do. you can still invite him to the wedding or find a way to let him know that you do want him to share that moment with you. maybe get him something small too to let him know that you really appreciate it but anna is a better match for the two of you. i think he would appreciate you being honest and that way he knows he is still going to be a part of your wedding. |
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Kolkolina
Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 54
Location: Best
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:56 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| You two can bring it up with Tom. Maybe get your pre-martial counseling through him, and then ask if they both could participate in officiating. Also, take in mind that I believe one must be ordained, and have some kind of license from the state in order to perform marriages. She may not have that.. Just something to consider. Good luck! |
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knilymoummirm
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 68
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| If you aren't having anything religious in your wedding, I don't know why you want it in a church! Have it someplace else, and invite Tom and his wife as guests. |
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knilymoummirm
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 68
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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| I think it would be lovely to have them concelebrate, depending upon if the denominations suit - and even if they are different, there can be a ceremony done with both ministers, each doing different parts.We had three priests at our ceremony - they each did different parts. The priest who was the pastor of the church we married in did the main parts, with the other two doing other sections. It was wonderful! |
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knmover
Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 52
Location: Porn
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:09 pm Post subject: Sticky Situation with Church and Minister? |
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is it possible to have both tom and anna officiate? that would certainly help quell the issue. but, i'm sure that the minister has had this problem come up before. why not ask to use the church, tell him that you are bringing your college chaplain in, and ask tom tom say the opening prayer, or a closing remark? honestly, i think even if you do not have him involved, he still would not be offended. that's his job, hun- he's a understanding guy  maybe make a donation to the church and give tom a thank you card with a little gift, like an engraved bookmark for his bible. good luck!! |
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