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fairypelican
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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 Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| I have some cousins on my mother's side that are very, let's say unrefined. They live in the back woods of MS and tend to wear shirts with Confederate flags, smoke pot and be generally ignorant to modern life. There are three of them, two of which are married (not to eachother!) and were pregnant for their own weddings. I live out of state and was invited to their weddings about 3 weeks ahead of time by an invitation that was mailed to my parents (I'm 28 and haven't lived with them for 10 years). My mother is 100% AGAINST inviting them to the wedding. She doesn't get along with their mother and thinks they will just be embarrassing. I, on the other hand, think that it is not right to invite the entire family except them and don't want bad blood and tension with them in the future. However, I would honestly prefer if they don't show up. It isn't likely that they will since the wedding is in FL, but you never know. What do ya'll think? Invite them or not?I should add that they are still mad at me for not coming to their weddings so they have reason to act up a bit. |
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Fanthony
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:27 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| i would invite them because they most likely wont show, however to be on the safe side i would clarify the type of clothing that should be worn. |
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FallingUpwardsemoness
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:32 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| This is personally up to you. I wouldn't invite them. But this is my opinion. |
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fancypants
Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:36 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| I would invite them but talk to them and helop them with the stuff they wear u shouldn't excile them cuase they are from t he back woods just try to help them out and u never know they might not even come! |
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FarajS
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| I think you are right. You should invite them because it wouldn't be right to invite the rest of the family and not them. Since the wedding is in FL they probably won't show up anyway and if they do show up I'm sure that everything will still turn out fine.Good luck and congrats! |
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Fanthony
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:44 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| i agree invite them knowing that chances they show will be slim to none. but on theirs youmight want to add black tie required, if they make a scene have them escorted out. do not feel bad about that it is your day if they show tell them hi andthank you and leave it at that. |
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fanaticsep
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 27
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:49 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| If you are inviting all your other cousins, aunts, and uncles, then it would be rude to not invite them. As you say though, it's fairly unlikely they will actually attend. They are family though, so I'd treat them as such. That is, unless this is a part of the family you talk to every year or two and are not close with at all, perhaps you could get away with not inviting them. |
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famimina
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
Location: Netherlands Antilles
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:53 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| You're right--they're family and deserve an invite. And with the distance, I would expect them to decline. However, if they RSVP 'yes' to your wedding, you should have a designated friend or family member to keep a close eye on them. The second they become unrefined, this friend can pull them aside and contain the situation. |
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fakeblond475
Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:57 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| I wouldn't invite them. They're already upset anyway. Your excuse can be that you didn't think they'd come since you couldn't make it to their wedding. |
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FallingUpwardsemoness
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:02 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| It's your wedding, only invite who you want to share in your special day. |
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fancypants
Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:06 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| Invite them. You're chances of them coming are slim to none but you're right about them possibly having bad blood. I'm sure if you invited them they would feel honored rather than finding out that they were the only family members to not get an invitation. Saying "Oh they must have gotten lost in mail." may not work on them. Just do what you think is right though. This is your wedding - not anyone elses! |
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Fanthony
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:10 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| ARE YOU INVITING THEIR MOTHER? and other relatives near them? I would not invite them and if you do make sure the dress code is included in their invitation. Hoepfully they won't show up out of spite to prove a point that you didn't come to theirs and still they came all the way down to florida to yours!! |
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fakeblond475
Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:14 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| It's ur wedding if you honestly don't want them to come... you prob shouldn't invite them and if u do choose to invite them you should have a non-alcoholic reception... |
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falcon
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:19 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| i wouldn't invite them. a- if there is bad blood bcse you didn't show for theirs you run a greater risk of them doing something regretableb- if they are that much of a bunch of rebel rousers- you run risk of having to throw them out of the reception- you will have paid for them for nothingc- i say if they ask you just couldn't afford the extra people- and you say "unfortunatly there were others that we couldn't afford to invite, it wasn't just you that we didn't invite"- have a few names of ppl they don't know for back up uninvitesd- if they don't get along with family - why upset the family that you have there that are having a good timee- if you don't seem them often don't sweat it. |
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Fanthony
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:23 pm Post subject: To invite or not to invite? |
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| I would think that not sending an invitation when you are inviting all the rest of the family would not only be rude but an insult to these cousins who thought enough of you to invite you to their weddings. I don't think it was necessary for you to tell us they were pregnant for their weddings, it really has no bearing on your question. Invite them, gently include expected dress code if you think you need to, ask a close friend or other family member to intervene if needed at the wedding and reception if they do indeed attend. You could I suppose send the invitation late so they had less time to arrange to attend. (that's a bit devious I admit) |
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