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CharlesS
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:35 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| If you spent money on the candles, Christmas ornaments, and floral decorations, I believe you should have kept them. If they paid for them, then why would you ask for them? And the paint used for her kitchen, the wallpaper, stenciling the walls, etc, I think that should be part of your wedding cost and your aunt shouldn't have to pay you back. After all, she did let you borrow her house. Did she ask you for rental money? I guess not. |
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CBTPrincess3375
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:40 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| What does it matter now?EDIT: Okay, now that you point out that the aunts still bring it up, I can see your frustration. I would be highly irritated too. I would politely tell them the next time that you appreciated their stepping in when your mom couldn't be there to help you with the wedding, but that it was seven years ago . If they didn't want to spend that much money, then they shouldn't have, but there is nothing you or they can do about it now, and it is time for all of you to move on. They made the decision to spend (a whopping) $1000 on your wedding and now they have to deal with it. They can't bemoan the fact every time they see you. |
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celticbuddha
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:45 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| Both. She re-decorated her house so that your wedding venue would be beautiful and up to date. |
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chedcat
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:50 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| i think your aunts need to let that go, it's been 7 years.. and i would agree it sounds like they paid for some re decoration.. |
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chachboogie
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:55 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| I think that money was spent on redecorating their home. But they also seem to want kudos for giving you a wedding. They gave you a gift; it should have been out of the goodness of their heart. Unfortunately their motivation was just so they could show off and continue to rehash it for years to come. All over a thousand bucks. Sad.Just ignore them and enjoy your life. |
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carrot
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:00 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| I said, if it were me and she were complaining about the cost I'd say something snappy about her benefitting from it."Well your wedding cost so much dear.""I know. It costs a lot of redecorate someone's house so they can enjoy it later."Something like that may shut her up and yet not be totally uncalled for and rude. If you say it right it won't be implied as rude, but merely truth. |
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cc
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:05 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| This have change now a days. My wedding cost 3200.00. I wish it could be more. We want it to be simple. |
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celticbuddha
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:11 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| You may not want to hear this, but maybe the best thing to do at this point is save up the $$ and give it back to them. Don't tell them you're saving until you have it all and then just give it back. Tell them you were tired of hearing them complain about how much it cost them so you figured you would just give them what they spent. Tell them that you thought they offered to help because they really wanted to help, and that you never asked them to "redecorate" the house for you wedding. Make them feel bad for how they have made you feel.That's the only suggestion I can give that will allow for them to feel bad for making you feel like crap about something they offered to do. I have never heard of someone complaining about offering to help pay for a wedding that was only $1,000!!! Mine was $30,000 - they should feel grateful you thought of them to try and keep costs down.Have you ever talked to them and asked them why they keep rubbing it in your face? You should if you haven't. |
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chaychayolei5385
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:16 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| The extra cost was for her to decorate her house. If they bring it up again you should tell them that the amount spent on her home was for her benefit and not for your wedding and you are sick and tired of them saying your wedding costs that much. Mention to them that the only cost put out for your wedding was the $80 spent on food and you and your husband covered the rest of the cost. Tell her that you did not request the redecorating of her home or the extra decorating for her tree and since those things benefitted her only they are not part of the wedding cost. Tell her if she wants you to pay her the $1,000 and take the paint, wallpaper, candles, etc. you'd be happy to do so, so that this can be put to rest and that otherwise you would prefer they shut up about it and quit saying it was for your wedding. |
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CBTPrincess3375
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:21 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| I would pointedly tell them to drop it already. It's 7 years ago, for crying out loud! Move on to something else. I wholeheartedly agree with Paula Christine--give them the money back, and tell them you're doing so because 7 years is long enough for them to be making such a fuss, and that it has been something which has hurt your feelings so many times over these many years that you would simply like it put to bed. Geez....7 years later-it's time to repaint already! |
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CharlieP6163
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:26 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| This has gone on too long and too often. I completely understand being kind and keeping your mouth shut but I bet if you really stood up for yourself once they would be shocked into being silenced. The truth of the matter is she was picking out stuff a YEAR before you met your husband. Remind her of it sternly, with a steady voice and a smile. Don't make a big show of it, don't do it in front of everyone but do it ONCE in front of th aunts when they bring it up and do it to count! Mean it! The money was NOT for your wedding it was for HER HOUSE and she knows it. I cannot believe she is still going on about this, it is disgusting. Or like it has been said, save it and pay it back, they will feel ssssoooo bad, I'm pretty sure.I hope this ends soon, I'm sorry you have been putting up with it for so long. |
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CBTPrincess5890
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:31 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| it was her decorating her house not your wdding,wallpaper,new kitchen paint and all that had nothing to do with you getting married.figure what was spent on your wedding and give it back to them along with a couple hundred extra for there work then tell them you dont want to hear anymore about it.sounds like my mother,no matter what you say or what they do they claim you owe them.so sad |
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Chandlers
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:36 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| How about this. My wedding cost $1000. $165 for our stuff and $835 for your home redecorating. Consider asking why they keep griping about it and bringing it up. If they were so unhappy about redecorating their home, why didn't they say anything? Basically, put them in their place once and it may never come up again. There is no reason for them to forever gnaw on you about it. I would also reconsider visiting such mean spirited folks so often. |
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cats5403
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:41 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| Personally, I would be pretty ticked off. If this was such a burden to them, they should've not helped you out. The redecorating was their choice not yours. You have three options as I see it: First, you could just decide that you don't want to hear about it anymore and just don't go around any of them again. Second, you could ask them if they want you to pay for the wedding even though it's been years. If they say no, then ask them why they keep bringing it up ALL the time that they are hurting your feelings or making you uncomfortable or whatever. The third option is a little harsh but effective. Get the $1000 together, seperate it into two stacks of $500 ( I would do it in ones just for meanness). Catch them together some time and when they bring it up, slam the money down and tell them that here is their stupid money and to shut up about the wedding that they are acting like it is a burden on them and that you are going to take care of that right now. Then walk off and don't speak to them for a while and see what happens. Honestly, if they have any heart, they won't accept the money. If they accept the money and never say anything else, they are selfish and you don't need them. Whatever you choose, you really need to speak up or they will never let it go. Trust me. Good luck and God bless!!! |
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