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carlos_kin
Joined: 17 Sep 2007
Posts: 8
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 Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:18 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| When I got married a few years ago, it was an at-home wedding. It was in my aunt's house and at Christmas time. I have always admired how she decorated her home.After the wedding, there were several comments made about how much my wedding cost her and my other aunt.My husband and I paid for the cake, flowers and rings. The only clothing purchased was my outfit ($35) and my MOH ($50). She choose to purchase an outfit for her daughter to be a bride's maid (without my consent because the 6 year old was jealous). The second aunt paid for the food. I went shopping with her and kept the cost down ($80). All the other things (painting her kitchen, wallpaper, stenciling the walls, wall sconces and candles and more floral decorations) was their ideas and she, of course, kept them. There was also more decorations bought for her new 12 ft. Christmas tree.The total comes to over $1,000. They say that was the cost of my wedding. I say that was the cost of her re-decoratingher home. (P.S.) My aunts stepped in because they promised after my mother died that they would give me my wedding.I did not ask all the re-decorating. It was a family only wedding (around15-20 people). None of the flowers, decorations, or even the leftover food came to my house. I loved my wedding but 7 years later I still hear about how much my wedding cost. Yet, I know for each of their daughters' weddings cost about $2,000 to $5,000. It's not the money ( and I know I am not their daughter so it is not the same). It is the comments that mine cost so much. Who is right? Was the re-decorating part of the cost of my wedding or was the wedding an excuse to re-decorate? Can the re-decorating be defined as a legitimate part of the wedding budget?As to was she intending to re-decorate-yes and no. She wanted to and had been picking out paint and wallpaper samples for a year before I met my husband.As to why it is still an issue- because it is with the aunts. As recently as this past weekend, one aunt listed all the things they paid for and how much it cost them. The general topic of weddings can not come up without hashing it over again but it is never mentioned how much the other weddings cost them. I feel defensive every time this happens which is about once a month. |
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CBTPrincess5890
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:23 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| Why is it an issue now? I say what ever happened at Aunties house years ago should be forgotten. |
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CBTPrincess5439
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:28 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| totally |
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Cazzodiroco
Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Posts: 4
Location: United Kingdom
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:33 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| The cost of answering this question may be your family! So was this really her redecorations for her home, not your wedding? probably.If no one is asking for money to pay for it, does it really matter?Probably not. This is one of those things best left to the past, and forgotten. |
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cc
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:38 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| Well, after so long, I say its a moot point. A thousand dollars is still a steal for the cost of a wedding and reception, no matter who you ask, or who got what out of it. I DO agree with you that maybe the house owner should have paid for the decorations, but at the same time, it made YOUR venue that much prettier, so there you go. At least the decorations were usable after the event...unlike a rental hall where everything goes in the garbage bins. |
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CateB
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:43 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| I guess the question is whether she would've done those things if not for your wedding. If she felt pressured to make improvements to her house, then that was the cost of your wedding. If she took it upon herself to do because it's something that she wanted for herself, then it was the cost of her redecorating. |
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CBTPrincess5169
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:48 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| You are right., It was HER choice to purchase additional items to decorate her house .If she wants you to pay for it then you should get the extra items to decorate your home. |
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CattFoeta
Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Armenia
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:54 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| The joys of family....she spent the money to do her house. These are the things they will hold over you forever. Don't let them bug you. |
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CBTPrincess
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:59 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| Should of had this all planned out beforehand. I say that if she was kind enough to allow the wedding in her house then you are close enough to TALK about this rationally. If she can't be reasonable then take it to a lawyer. I would love to see this on Judge Judy. |
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celebsxxx
Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 2
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:04 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| Sorry but I doubt you were complaining when she offered the place. I say get over it because not likely you could get a site for that amount. And when you do get sites, they have cost that includes their decorations, etc. They have to repaint, etc every so often and have that as part of their annual operating budget so in long run you would be charged there also. I say you have hurtful feelings for something else. You did say this was a few years ago. Time to let go.Ok based on the additional details I think you need to sit down with each or all together, whichever you can handle and say to them what you have said to us. Once you come clean on how you feel it will either force them to drop it or allow you to say you are done talking about this. Ask them what kind of payment system they can set up and possibly that will embarrass them enough that they get the point. |
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ChavPrincess
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:09 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| I agree with you, that was the cost of her redecorating. She didn't need to do all that, she CHOSE to do it. Whoever made those comments to you are just being petty. |
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Cash
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:14 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| I would say cost of the re-decorating as well unless u asked them to repaint her kitchen. |
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CassandraC
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:19 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| As long as you didn't pay for it all, what difference does it make? A lot of it may have been the cost for decorating, but it was all a part of your wedding. It all went to make your wedding special. |
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cerbBliblef
Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
Location: Fiji
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:24 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| Why worry about whats spent when its gone?. You are married and happy and that matters more then decorations and food. Merry X-mas!. |
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CatLover6747
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:29 am Post subject: Was the budget spent on my wedding or on decorating their ho |
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| It sounds to me like that was the cost of their redecorating. I guess the question becomes would she have done the redecorating if she wasn't hosting the wedding or did she do it so that you would have a beautiful place to have your wedding. Either way, I doubt I would reimburse her for it. |
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