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_pistol_tiyo_
Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 36
Location: London
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 Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:45 am Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| NO! It does not sound okay. Everybody has issues with RSVP. That does not mean you can berate your guests. If you sent that letter to me, I'd send you one right back. Your "gift" would be a lesson in manners!Call your guests that did not send an RSVP, or sent their card back with too many respondents. Tell them that you need an exact count to tell the caterer. Who cares if they don't give you a name? If they say two, it's two. If they say they need to find out if so-and-so is going first, let them know that they need not attend. (Why are you inviting people who aren't going to your wedding for YOU?) Your wedding does NOT give you the right to be rude to others. Yes, they should show you some respect in your request for an RSVP. But some don't. Don't return the attitude. It will not be well received. |
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_rere_tilio_
Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 31
Location: Boston
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:17 am Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| Don't waste your time with a letter like that. If they don't rsvp or they have to bring such and such...just bump them. It isn't worth you spending your cash on more printing and more stamps. Plus, people aren't stupid, they know how this all works. You rsvp or dont go. I think you should just go ahead and put in your head count. Plus the letter's a little pushy...it's almost saying that they HAVE to come. If you don't take my advice and want to send it anyway I would consider the language and PROOFREAD big time! |
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_yoko_eshe_
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 33
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:48 am Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| How snotty!! Delete everything after the date and up to the "We are required" if you feel that you absolutely have to send out such a rude missive. BUT - for all the time and postage, and to avoid irritating guests, why can't you just appoint your MOH to phone people . Gads!! We all have those relatives and friends who think "Oh, they know we'll be there!" Maybe some of them have mentioned to your parents that the'll be attending. Maybe they lost the response card. Maybe the mail got misdirected. Just by adding "With respect" doesn't mean your mean letter is respectful. It obviously isn't. Your MOH or another friend can so easily call people in a friendly tone of voice and say " Hi, there, this is Mary's MOH calling. The wedding is getting so close and the caterer is REALLY needing their final guest count by Monday. Mary's going out of her mind with all the details so I offered to call anyone who hasn't responded. Are you planning to attend? Get the response and say Thanks and move on to next name. Come on! These people are your GUESTS - not someone who you can treat rudely and expect a gift. BTW - this is another reason for having a wedding planner or letting your mom handle the RSVPs. Bridezillas get too emotional and wired up to think rationally. Cool your jets! Anyone can make 20 phone calls in one evening and I doubt if you need to call more than that. EDIT: Whoa...you have bigger problems than RSVP's. With an attitude like yours, no wonder you are doing everything yourself. You would actually be sending a snotty letter like that to your own MOTHER?!?!?! Wouldn't you just assume she'll be there UNLESS your bad attitude and selfish nature has even affected that relationship. They say the nut doesn't fall far from the tree. Both YOU and YOUR MOTHER need some lessons in manners - FAST!! |
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_rago_lies_
Joined: 08 Jun 2007
Posts: 30
Location: Washington
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:20 am Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| Ah, sorry, I really don't like the letter. Have you called these people? Phone them (don't email) and tell them on the spot they have to tell you how many people are going or you're just going to write them down as one and no guest. I would be put off if I got that letter from a friend of mine. Sorry! |
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_lyre_qweku_
Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 36
Location: Australy
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:52 am Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| You know your guests are being quite rude. Did you address your invites So and So and guest?People should not be bringing people unless they are invited. Only the people on the envelope are actually invited to the wedding, that is proper etiquette. If they don't RSVP by the given date then I would assume that aren't coming. If they show up anyway they just aren't going to eat. If you are worried they are going to show up without RSVP-ing, you could set up the seating arrangement such that the people who didn't RSVP all sit at that table and you can instruct the servers not to serve that table.I know that's harsh but I can't stand rude people with not etiquette! |
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_pisko_koli_
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 50
Location: Johannesburg
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:23 am Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| Phone them but do not send a letter. You are quite within your rights to chase people for being inconsiderate and not RSVP-ing but you do not want to be rude yourself! You can remind these possible guests also that only the names on the invitation are invited, there is no room for people to bring someone just because they want to. I'm amazed at how little people know about common etiquette practices! Including RSVPs! |
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_pistol_tiyo_
Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 36
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:55 am Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| no...sorry...in my opinion it sounds harsh- I am forgetful and those who know me, understand that. If I rec'd this letter I wouldn't go (sorry- my opinion). My fiance and I are calling people who don't respond. |
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_tolre_qweho_
Joined: 28 Apr 2007
Posts: 35
Location: Stafford
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:27 pm Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| Honestly I dont think it sounds ok. It sounds really grouchy, and I dont think you should go on and on about why you need their final number. A few phone calls is the best way to resolve this. If you must send a letter to a few select offenders, I would make it short and sweet:Dear guest,Making any headway on the final count? Our deadline to the caterer is April 1. Looking forward to seeing you,bride |
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_pistol_tiyo_
Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 36
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:58 pm Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| Wow, if I got a letter like that, I would really think that you are too concerned with money then if i was really coming to the wedding. You should just call these people and ask them point blank if they are coming or not, If they can't give you an answer, then consider it a no, let them know that you need to give your caterer a final head count and since they can't decide, you are going to consider it a no. (if they don't know this close to the wedding if they can come, then they are pretty flighty and rude anyway) As for the people who don't know who their guest will be, just put and guest on their place setting card. As for the people who do not know if they are bringing a guest, just call them up and ask them, if they still say they don't know, tell them you need to give a final count to the caterer so you will consider that a no guest, and they will be coming as 1. you can't wait around forever for these people. But DO NOT mention the cost of your wedding or how much money you are potentially wasting, it's rude and tacky. |
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_yoju_eckho_
Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 39
Location: Boston
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:30 pm Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| I love the letter!! I think it's great!! But I probably wouldn't send it.. people might get offended.I would call them up and say something like: "I need to know if you are coming to the wedding or not so I can finalize the numbers for the food vendor." If they they say they still don't know tell them "Please tell me your exact guest count by such and such a date in x number of days time. If I don't hear from you by this date we will presume you're not attending and won't be able to reserve a seat for you because our vendors need to know the final head count. We would really love to see you there so please let us know on time."You could get your bridesmaids to help call if it's a big wedding. The advantage of calling is that you get people straight away and they can't write things like 'I'm not sure if so and so can attend' on the reply slip. They're also less likely to forget to respond as often happens with letters.Or send the letter but cut it down a bit and keep it really simple and clear (there are a lot of stupid people out there and long letters with multiple dates will confuse them). Something like:Dear Guest,We are busy finalizing numbers for our wedding on April 13th 2008 at (***). The cut-off date for RSVPs was on February 29th. We are required by our food vendor to provide the final list by (***). Please respond by (***) with your exact guest count so we can reserve seats for you. If you do not respond by this date with your exact guest count we will assume you are not attending and we will be unable to reserve a place for you at the function. We would really love to see you there so please let us know as soon as possible.Mary and JohnPhone: ***** by (Date you want them to respond by)I'd also make the date that you say you're required to let your food vendors know a couple of days before the actual date.I personally think you are very generous even letting people bring guests and it is VERY rude that they are not RSVPing!! |
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_yopul_yomim_
Joined: 05 Jun 2007
Posts: 25
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 2:02 pm Post subject: what do you think of this letter in refferance to RSVP? |
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| It's really bad that guests don't RSVP but this letter comes across a bit harsh (sorry, I don't mean to offend you) I would just call the people who have not RSVP'd and say to them, look, we need a final head count to give to the caterers, are you coming? " If they can't or don't give you an answer say to them that if you do not hear from them by "X" date then you will assume they are not coming. |
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