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fizzystuff6711
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 4
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 Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:55 am Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| My boyfriend of three years has begun the process of becoming a police officer, and I was trying to figure out what to expect while he is at the academy? Also, will it be hard to plan our honeymoon and will he be too busy to help plan the wedding? One last question, will he be too busy to go house hunting with me? Any other advice would be appreciated! |
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fizzystuff6741
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:09 am Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| Once he's through the academy and FTO, expect him to work a lot of overtime, rotating shifts, and get called out in the middle of the night or anytime for that matter. |
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fizzystuff9888
Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:23 am Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| I heard this was supposed to be a pretty good book for what you are looking for. (There are two editions, make sure you look at the revised edition)http://www.amazon.com/dp/1572301937?tag=becoapolioffi-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1572301937&adid=019167W2QS528NG58B4F& |
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fizzystuff6741
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:37 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| He will probably still try to run other people's lives even while off-duty. Be prepared for lots of social altercations in public places as he attempts to protect people from themselves. |
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fizzystuff9818
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 41
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:51 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| 1. In most academies he will go from 6am to around 4 or 5pm. With most nights and weekends off. He will have to study most nights and get his gear ready for the next day. Also many academies are physically demanding, so he will probably go to bed early most nights. His personality probably won't change much during the academy. But he will have all kinds of cool stuff to show you. As his career progresses, expect him to become at least somewhat cynical and jaded. 2.. He won't have time off for a honeymoon during the 4-6 month police academy. He also probably won't be able to get a lot of time off work during his first few months as an actual police officer.3. He won't care about planning the wedding even if he had a lot more spare time....All kidding aside, as I said in the beginning during the academy he will have most nights and weekends free. With maybe 30-45 minutes of studying a night and a couple hours on the weekends.4. As I said before, he will have time off. |
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fizzystuff6741
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:04 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| For his first year, maybe year and a half, he will be extremely busy and working long, odd hours.A wedding in that time would be ill advised. The honeymoon would be cool, if he can swing the time-off, but thew wedding would be a bit much. It would 99% up to you to do the planning and execution. He will be swamped with studying for hours nightly during the academy and will be needing a lot of sleep during FTO.Maybe you can hold off on the wedding. Plus, he's going to change a little, its inevitable, so you may want to take a little time and see if you really want to be "glued" to him for the next 50 years. If someone tells you police work doesn't change someone, many times for the better, they are full of #$^%. |
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fizzystuff9370
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:18 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| First, the academy is hard and will require most of his waking hours. I wouldn't get married while in the academy unless you have deposits put down that can't be changed. Then most departments don't give rookies more than 2 weeks a year vacation, so that would be it for a year if you used the 2 weeks for the wedding and honeymoon. It really takes a certain kind of person to deal with the schedule that cops work. If you can't be left alone in the empty house while he is at work, forget about it and find an accountant.Then, just about every holiday or birthday he will have to work at least part of the day. It gets old real fast if you want to have a companion. On the other hand, if you are an independent person who likes to go out, you will have the free time to meet with your friends while he is working afternoons or nights and if you hate it when he steals the blanket, you will have the whole bed to yourself while he is on midnights.PS i'm a female cop married 5 years to a great guy (non-cop) who steals the covers. We have 2 small girls. (now that is work!) |
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fizzystuff9779
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:32 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| He'll probably beat you. |
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fizzystuff9779
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 43
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fizzystuff6741
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:00 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| It takes a very special person to be married to a cop. Just remember that he is going to have a very stressful job, and to let him have his space, and make sure he doesn't bring his work home with him. The divorce rates for cops are VERY high. Just dont get upset with him with all the time he will put in. |
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fizzystuff9888
Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:14 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| expect him to be stressed about passing the weekly tests, sore and tired from PT. nights are for studies, shinning boots, pressing uniforms, packing gear, weekends more studying...20-22 weeks of it.....then the FTO program...more stress...shift work, new outlook on life/people...he'll start backing into parking spaces, buying cool cop stuff. after a year of probation, he will be ready to plan a wedding and house hunt. |
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fizzystuff9888
Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:27 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| I am dating a police officer now. He has been on the force for almost ten years now, and the high divorce rate is definitely true...he has been divorced twice. Mainly because of who he chose to marry, but then again it does take two. I have no doubt that we will get married, but it does scare me a little.We live together now, and being with a cop is definitely a new and different experience. He works midnights, which is doable if I take a nap after work and get up for a few hours when he comes home but it took a little while to work that out.When he comes home, he is usually pretty tired and sometimes a little grumpy. Occasionally he will talk to me about it, but not often. Sometimes he will "accidentally" leave a copy of an incident report on the coffee table. I have had to learn to leave him alone about work until he needs to talk about it, and that he will come to me in time. He lets me know in small ways that he needs me...will walk up behind me while I'm cooking him dinner at 2 am, hug me and kiss my neck. He gets upset when I stay up and don't go to bed when he does... I have also had to get used to going out without him 90% of the time, which is still hard. But I love him so much, so proud of him, and I am learning to handle all the changes. It's definitely a different lifestyle. Yes its hard, yes there will be times you hate it and get upset because he's irritable or can't go somewhere with you or misses a birthday party...but if you find the right guy its completely worth it. 100% I wish you the best of luck. I would also recommend getting to know some other police wives...they know exactly how you feel and can be a great support system. |
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fizzystuff9370
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:41 pm Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| The academy will take up most of his time, and whatever time he has he will more than likely be focused on studying. I was pretty much in a boot camp when I transferred from one agency to the state agency I work for now. As he get closer and closer to graduation, he may have more free time to do things and plan things with you. You may have to put some of the planning on hold for a while. I'm lucky in the fact that I married another officer,so our stress level isn't there. We understand what each of us goes through during the day. My best advice to you is have an open line of communication, be understanding to his career, but also make sure he knows what your thinking. I wish the both of you the best of luck. |
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fizzystuff9370
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:55 am Post subject: What to expect when marrying a police officer? |
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| ReadI Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know: by Ellen Kirschman: |
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