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infinasura
Joined: 25 Feb 2008
Posts: 25
Location: World
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 Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:18 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| About 2 months to go and my list of things to do is much longer than his list of things to do. He continually wants to be involved when I give him a task...it's not done. He was to book the Honeymoon, not done yet. He's making the CD favors..not done yet. He fought me for a wedding night in a hotel alone, but he hasn't booked anything (the wedding is on an island I wanted to party in a vip room after the reception til the sun came up, hence no real wedding night). Anyway, How can I motivate him to do what he needs to do? All he does is come home and play xbox360. Don't get me wrong I'm a big gamer myself I love the xbox and my games but I know when it's time to put the pretty pink controller down and get to wedding work. Any advice on getting him to help me? Are all grooms procrastinators (lazy) like this?I must make this clear:I wanted to elope in hawaii on the beach for $300 but my fiancee is the ONE who wanted a BIG WEDDING, not me! That's why it makes no sense that he wouldn't help. My mom has done most of it and he complains that it's all her wedding and not mine. I keep trying to tell him that he didn't want my wedding in Hawaii, he wanted this big mess. I'm just not a typical 'bride'. I've been dreaming of Hawaii.Big Mike you should tell my fiancee that it's been a waste of money and that he should have listened to me cause then we would have money for a house...but noooooo...he wanted the wedding.Sorry I mean Big Stan.Jennafer I wish you were my maid of Honor. I removed all bridesmaids and Groomsmen (yet another part of the wedding HE wanted) My girls are dead beats and they haven't called me or hung out with me in 6 months. I call them but they are too busy getting abused by their boyfriends or being played by some by. |
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infurrigh
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 22
Location: Egypt
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:43 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| My dear, I feel your pain. Your boyfriend is addicted to xbox. He puts his relationship with xbox ahead of his responsibilities. You tell him that he is not to touch the xbox until he has fulfilled his responsibilities. And, then only one half hour per night. Remember, work before play, NOT play xbox before work. Tell your little boyfriend to grow up and be a man, and do his manly chores, or there won't be a wedding. |
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InfernalMoose
Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 23
Location: Uzbekistan
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:07 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| Mine is, he doesn't seem to realize how fast vendors book. His attitude is more of "let me know when to show up". While I've been dreaming of this day since I was 5. Thank God for my Mother who is really handling so much for me. Do you have friends or family you can assign tasks to? |
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InfernalMoose
Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 23
Location: Uzbekistan
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| Mine was. To be honest it was easier to do all "his" responsibilites myself then try to get him to do it.You need to sit down and have a talk with him. Either that or throw the XBox out the window. LOL. |
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InCharmsWay
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| because hes a boy just a boy that gets to drive cars try telling him if u dnt help u want be getting none bt say it while ur naked or in lingeree he will help |
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Indigo2114
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:21 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| guys are lazy, and if he really wanted to help you out, he would have. you should just sit down and talk to him, about how its not getting done, so you're goin to take over. if he still insists on helping, make him have a deadline and tell him if he doesnt meet the deadline, then your definitly taking over. |
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Indie
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| I've found that my fiance is much more motivated to work on wedding stuff if we're doing it together. When he comes home, tell him you're going to be working on wedding stuff (guest list, menu ideas, whatever) and you'd like him to look into booking the honeymoon. It's much harder for him to decline when you're sitting there working on stuff. And don't let him start playing video games. Tell him you both can play together after you get some wedding stuff done first. |
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infamoushairstylist
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:10 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| YES! They really are! Every time I mention our wedding to my fiance he tells me it's my responsibility. It irks me too. He has been married before and I have never been married, and, yes, I want a wedding. So now it's all up to me. |
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inczasain
Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Posts: 25
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:34 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| Honestly, men don't care about weddings, in general, they are a waste of time and money. The focus should be on a good marriage and not a huge wedding. So, we don't care enough to put time in...this is not to say we don't care about our women, just not the wedding. To us, the money could be better spent on bills, or a house or whatever, just not some wedding. Guys talk about this all the time and most guys i talk to say the same thing...for example, i have a friend who's fiancee's mother offered them 20,000 to either put on a wedding or a house....she chose a wedding over a house and he is furious, and rightly so, this is ridiculous. It just shows the difference in how men and women think. so this is why you husband isn't motivated, he just wants to get it over with and start living. |
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Ingececycle
Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
Location: MA
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:59 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| Take his xbox and hid it and talk to him about how you are so stressed out that you need him to do the stuff he has to get done. And as for your heading on your question I think your answer answered that. |
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Incarappy
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 25
Location: Marshall Islands
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:23 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| The bride doesn't have to take care of everything. I didn't, but that's because my husband isn't addicted to video games. He did as much, if not more, as I did. He also kept me focused and encouraged so I wouldn't be stressed.You need to sit down with him and explain that you know wedding planning is boring, but it needs to be done and if he doesn't do his part now the wedding will turn out a mess. If he still isn't compelled to work then hide the xbox until he finishes his work. I have a feeling that this won't be the first time you'll have to hide it... |
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Incundamn
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 22
Location: Dominican Republic
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:48 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| Most men do not enjoy weddings. It is not that they do not love the bride to be, it is that weddings are stressful and guys like to avoid stress. Weddings are stressful for women too (especially the planning) but the wedding itself is a much bigger deal to the bride than it is to the groom. Most grooms would be happy just to elope and not make such a big deal over it. The wedding night alone with the bride IS important to the groom because he just wants to be alone with his new wife (if you know what I'm sayin' ;)So, I would say, yes, most grooms procrastinate when it comes to helping prepare for weddings. |
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inepeTibeJimi
Joined: 05 Sep 2007
Posts: 34
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:12 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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No they just do not care about the same stuff the bride's do...that's that simple...they see only the fact that they are getting married...they do not understand you why are you stressing out about stupid things he doesn't care about and on the top of everything is just another day for them....maybe they can't understand why are you so focus on one day if they think about the days after wedding that called MARRIAGE  |
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Ingececycle
Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
Location: MA
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| Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:37 pm Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| my husbands only job was to pick the wedding song. he is a huge gamer, but he actually spent nights online looking for the perfect song. it was cute. other then that, guys are just like that. they put things off. your best bet would be to do things together so that your both out or sitting down doing it rather then leaving him a bunch of things to do on his own where he can be distracted by other things. |
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Indie
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:01 am Post subject: Why does the bride have to take care of everything for the w |
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| I know how you feel. And no you do not have to do everything. My suggestion is to ask your maid of honor to help out, technically that is what she is there for. I am in a wedding as the maid of honor and I have been busting my butt to help my best friend while her fiance' is doing nothing. So just ask her to help more and you will see such a difference with your list of things to do. good luck |
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