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seahawkfanabc
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 19
Location: US
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 Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:49 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| I want to invite my church to just the wedding ceremony and not to the reception because we don't have the room at the reception hall. If I could, I would invite the entire church to both the wedding and reception, but since we don't have the room, we want to invite them to at least the ceremony. Would this be ok? We're not super close to everyone in our church but I think most of them would feel honored to be invited to just the ceremony. What about this?What if you got invited to the shower and the ceremony but not the reception, would you feel like the couple was just asking for your money? |
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searchaab
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 63
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 4:29 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| Only invite people that you are inviting to the wedding. Plain and simple. |
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searchaaa
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 49
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:08 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| Yes, it would be a bad idea. That's like saying, "You're good enough to watch us get married and buy us a gift, but not good enough for us to spend money on food for you."You should either invite them to both, or neither. And you really shouldn't invite them to the showers, if they're not invited to the reception. |
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searcherra
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 16
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:48 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| When you send the invitation, have it say that they are invited to a wedding ceremony, but don't list the reception in the invitation. All that is invited to both you can tell them by mouth, where the reception will be held. People will feel bad, but its your wedding. |
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searchaab
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 63
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:27 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| If its common within your church, I see no problem with a general invitation to the ceremony, and proper invitations to the reception only. Some church "families" are close-knit enough that this would fly. Use your judgement.I dont think it would be nice however, to have people at a bridal shower who are not invited to the reception. |
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sebastiansekz
Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 13
Location: usa
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:07 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| That's plain rude, and yes, it does sound like you only want to get all the gifts you can and not let these people share your day with you. Only invite people to the wedding that you'll want at your reception, too. |
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seabreezecc
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 37
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:46 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| if there really isn't enough room then you should probably only invite the people from your church that you are really close to.i don't think it would be a great idea to invite people just to the ceremony, but what do i know about weddings? haha. |
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Seamless_11501
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:26 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| If I'm invited to a shower then I expect to be invited to the wedding AND reception. If I'm not invited to a shower for the couple but chose to give a gift anyway then I don't expect to recieve an invitation. |
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searchaac
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 56
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:05 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| In general ... yes, it's bad. In some social circles, the entire church is expected to be invited to the ceremony. If this is the case with you, then you don't need to invite them to the dinner reception, but it would be wise to have something small for them after the ceremony for an hour or so, like cookies and punch in the church basement or something. Otherwise, do NOT invite anyone to the ceremony that you won't also be inviting to the reception. That's horribly, horribly rude. Only invite the amount of people you can afford to seat and feed at the reception. Those who aren't close enough to you to make the cut will just have to get over it. And, no, don't invite anyone to a shower that isn't also invited to the whole wedding (ceremony and reception). If your church friends, work friends or parents' friends throw you a surprise shower, though, you're not obligated to then invite them to the ceremony in turn, if you hadn't planned on inviting them in the first place. Just be sure to send a nice thank you note to everyone in attendance, and maybe do a little something extra for the hostesses - send them flowers or cookies or something and a thank you note. |
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searcherra
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 16
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:45 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| Please don't do this! It is in very poor taste! What you should do is invite only those from the church that you are closest to so that you can invite them to the reception also. Get their addresses & send their invites to their homes. Do not talk about the wedding at church in front of people you are not inviting. Do not have it announced or printed in the bulletin. Some from the church may ask you about it. If they are not on the list, tell them simply thank you for asking, but you are just having a small wedding for family & closest friends.Do not invite anyone to the showers that you are not also inviting to the ceremony & reception. |
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searcherra
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 16
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:24 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| I think it is kinda rude, but here's what you could do:Invite everyone to the ceremony and to a short cake/dessert reception at the church (if there's a place there) or somewhere close.Invite your family and close friends to a FAMILY only dinner reception. Let them know it's for family and close friends ONLY so they don't spill the beans.If anyone from the church asks about it, let them know it's a family tradition or something to have 2 receptions, one with everyone and one with just family.EDIT: To the answerer below me: not everyone is as SPOILED as the ladies of the past. We have to pay for everything now and it's difficult when our parents, grandparents, etc are forcing us to invite people or when we have absurdly huge families to invite and we don't want to offend anyone. Step into the present, honey. |
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Sdvwvbqt
Joined: 29 Sep 2007
Posts: 69
Location: Winuhoye
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:04 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| normally you dont invite people to the wedding if it's in a church the invitation is really for the reception..anyone can come into the church. i actually attended a wedding and that happen some people just wanted to see the bride get married so they came to the church. |
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searchbab
Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 16
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:43 am Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| Yes, and yes. If you invite someone only to the ceremony you are basically telling them....Hey, you were good enough to come and bring us a gift but not good enough to actually join the celebration.You also can't invite them to the reception but only allow them to attend the dancing after the meal. I understand you want to invite everybody but you are going to have to get over it and let reality take control. Send marriage announcements to the people who can't attend and leave it at that.And yes, if you invite someone to the shower but to nothing else you will be seen as trolling for gifts and that's exactly what you WILL be doing. The point of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts".....it has nothing to do with the wedding. |
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SE2077
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 60
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 12:23 pm Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| Apparently you do not realize that most churches state in their "rules and regulations" that members of that church or congregation are welcome to attend any wedding within that church (whether they do or do not know the Bride and/or Groom). And to be honest with you, very few church members will attend your wedding without receiving an invitation (mailed to their home).Even though this is wrong there are a lot of people who base how much they are going to spend on a wedding gift by the type of dinner (or meal) that is going to be served at the reception. So going by that theory, don't expect anything "grand" or "outstanding" from the people who are not invited to your reception.Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant |
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Searcher
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:02 pm Post subject: Would It be a bad idea to invite the people to the ceremony |
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| Not a good idea to send someone an invitation to the ceremony but not the reception, and doubly bad to invite them to a shower and then not reception.Church is technically always open to all members- why not just spread the word to people you are acquainted with that though you don't have the capacity to invite everyone to the wedding, you'd be happy to see them at the service? I had a number of people come to my wedding (Catholic church) who weren't formally invited- they were friends of friends, or relatives of my bridesmaids. I thought it was great to see so many unexpected faces there, supporting me and my husband. |
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